Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Petrified Wood

I don't claim to know stuff, in fact I will be the first to admit that I don't understand things that come up in conversation. So it hurts my brain when I overhear parents telling their kids things that could come nowhere but straight out of their asses. Take the lady at the beach whose son pointed to a rock and said, "Mommy, pretty rock." It was, in fact, kind of a cool looking rock. The mother then proceeds to spew the following horse shit:

"Honey, that's petrified wood."
"What's petrified wood?"
"It's really old wood that was here even when the dinosaurs were around. The dinosaurs were really large and heavy, so when they stepped on the wood it got buried deeper and deeper into the ground. The more dinosaurs that stepped on it, the deeper in the earth it went. After thousands of years, the wind blew sand on the wood and made it smooth and shiny, which is what you see now."

Thank god the kid lost interest because I would hate to hear her explain where babies come from.

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