I am pleased to announce the lovely Randomness, subject of the literary masterpiece Ode to Randomness, has been reinstated as a Mighty Blog affiliate! This comes after a six month absence during which time I impregnated her with my pork rind dick, causing her to give birth to a dead pig. Well done Randomness!
To make room for Randomness' return, I'm giving the ax to deadbeat blogger Lux Lisbon and her never-updated I'm Not Defensive. I'm also tempted to pull the plug on Malnurtured Snay. He/she/it is still an active blogger, but he/she/it never shows up around here anymore. I'll give him/her/it a break this once, but next time, he/she/it may not be so lucky. Snay, consider yourself warned!
Meanwhile, Lambo is at it again. She is begging me to add her ovine blog to my exclusive list of affiliates. Frankly, I'm just not comfortable doing this. Lambo's G-rated blog is severely lacking in references to flatulence, bowel movements, blowjobs, porn, and poon. But I hate to be the one to disappoint the little ball of lint, so I'm putting it to a vote! You'll find a special Mighty Blog poll just below the Chat Hole in the sidebar.*
And finally, my third wife ADW threatened to slit her own wrists if I don't answer the following five questions. I hate to see good POON go to waste, so here you go:
1. You have control of the world's oil reserves. What do you do next? I get myself a chainsaw, a Nubian goat, and a bottle of Henessee. I utilize the chainsaw to cut down some redwoods and build a fort to protect my oil reserves. The Nubian goat will stand guard outside the gate, and if anybody tries to hurt him, I will bash in their skulls with the Henessee bottle.
2. Me and my girlfriends are out drinking and we run into you. What happens? I will impregnate all of you with my 35-year-old pork rind dick.
3. You have a chainsaw, a Nubian Goat and a bottle of Henessee. What do you do with them? See #1.
4. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck? A woodchuck can't chuck wood, so fuck that woodchuck with a hockey puck and make that schmuck suck a lucky duck.
5. What is your penis called and do you have names for your testicles? My penis is Sir Squirtsalot. My testicles are named Manny, Moe, and Jack.
* Mighty Dyckerson reserves the right to alter poll results to his liking.