Friday, February 22, 2008

More Deadbeat Bloggers

For some reason, bloggers have been dropping like flies lately. Blogs that were recently teeming with activity now lay dormant, collecting dust and gathering cobwebs. Are these people dead?? Could this be the work of some deranged serial killer intent on destroying the Mighty Blog Network?? I plan to conduct a half-assed but full-fledged investigation, and I won't rest until I have answers! In the meantime, say sayonara to these lazy cocksuckers whose links you will no longer find in my sidebar.....

Assclownopolis - TFG mysteriously disappeared from the blogging community with an anticipatory post predicting an evening of "nookie," as he called it. Well that bastard must've had one hell of a night, because he hasn't been heard from since. What on earth could have happened to cause such an abrupt departure? Did contract some deadly disease from a $5 whore? The world may never know.

Confessions of a Bottle Blonde - I used to enjoy perusing this blog and drooling over its lovely author's bodacious ta-tas...that is, til the bitch went and made her blog private. Apparently you now need an invitation to look at her tits. Well LISTEN UP, woman! I am MIGHTY FUCKING DYCKERSON, and I don't need an invitation to look at knockers! I can go to Pudwhipped's blog and look at her funbags any damn time I want to!

Mephitic Nirvana - I don't even know how this piece of shit got on here to begin with. This chick was placed on probation (along with TFG) back in December. You have violated the terms of your probation, and now you are gone. Good riddance to you and your oddly titled blog!!!

Mr. Maestro - This bum took a one-month hiatus last fall...then returned only long enough to make a few lame Carrot Top jokes...then disappeared for another three months and counting. Maybe he thinks he's better than us because he's on Wordpress. Well let me tell you something, moron: Here on Blogger, you're actually expected to POST SOMETHING once in a while!! Now don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

Robot Zombie Vampire - McFatty, author of the long gone Blog Portland, made a feeble attempt at a comeback with this pathetic excuse for a blog. We all hoped he would return to his former glory, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. Instead, we are left with the domestic ramblings of his alcholic wife and mother of his seven at-risk children, Ms. McFatty.

Stop the Barking Dogs - This jackass changes URLs more often then I change my shorts. Every time he leaves, he vaguely implies that he's gone for good...but then he resurfaces with a new name and a new blog title. What the fuck, dude? Are the cops after you??! Get the fuck out of here and stop cluttering up my sidebar!

Of course, this means I have a few vacancies. And to fill one of those vacancies, I'd like you to join me in welcoming a new entry into the exclusive Mighty Blog Network: Cat Scratch Diva! I know virtually nothing about this blog, and it will probably be gone in two weeks, but the bitch begged to be added to the list, so I figured what the hell? Read it. Don't read it. Makes no difference to me.

Now before I go, I'd like to address those of you who continue to blog, but somehow don't feel the need to comment on the blogs of others...namely MINE. That's just bad blogging etiquette, and it WILL NOT BE TOLERATED here in the Mighty Blog Network. What's that? You say you're too busy??! Well LISTEN HERE, you little SHIT STAIN. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - is busier than Mightonimous Q. Dyckerson!!! Not only am I President and CEO of Dyckerson Enterprises Worldwide, I also happen to be running for PRESIDENT of THESE HERE UNITED STATES!!! So SUCK IT!!!!!

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