Party Time!

I.T. geeks sure know how to party. I learned this fact recently at my company's first (and hopefully last) annual employee appreciation luncheon. This is management's way of rewarding us for our hard work in lieu of actually giving us cash. We give them a third of our lives, they give us two slices of cold pizza and a styrofoam cup filled with flat soda. Yeah, that seems about right.

The festivities took place Thursday at noon in conference room 8...because everyone knows when it comes to parties, conference room 8 is where it's at. It comes fully equipped with tables, chairs, a speaker phone, and a white board - everything you need to get your freak on. And did we ever! Man, we rocked that place for ONE WHOLE HOUR before returning to our cubicles in an orderly fashion to continue working on our deliverables.

Wireless Willy got the party started by whipping out his smart phone and checking the weather forecast. Sunny and cool, with a chance of evening showers. Way to go, Willy! You rock!! Meanwhile, Finicky Fred was busy removing undesirable toppings from his pizza and carefully placing them on his napkin. Homeboy got some mad mushroom pickin' skillz, yo!!

Next, it was time for Conspicuous Consumption Carl to take the floor. (We call him "CC to the C.") He had us all riveted with his story about moving his 50 inch plasma screen to his bedroom to make room for a 65 inch DLP projector in his den. But then Waldo the One-Upper shook things up when he revealed plans to install a 70 inch mega screen in his living room. CC to the C was not at all pleased, and for a moment, it looked like a fight might break out. But thankfully, Rotundra the morbidly obese security officer was standing by with her incident report forms. Big mama be keepin' the peace in da hood!!

Just when we thought things couldn't get more exciting, Joystick Johnny took the tech talk in a whole new direction when he started describing in great detail how he rigged his X-Box to rip copies of his favorite DVDs. Everything from soldering motherboards to installing new chipsets - that mofo be pimpin' it old school!!

By now, the ladies were starting to loosen up. Lemon Lime Linda started tossing back shots of Diet Sprite while Domestic Darlene was slam dunking paper plates in the trash can and wiping the pizza oil off the tables. Bitch knows how to work a paper towel! You go, girl!!

Seems like the action was just getting hot when our hour was up. My how time flies! It was such a shame to see the hilarious hijinks come to a halt. This was undoubtedly one of those legendary parties we'll be texting our grandkids about someday.

Please shoot me.