Another Tasteless Post

Let me ask you dames a question. What the fuck is the deal with this wine tasting nonsense? Seems like every damn weekend, there's a fucking wine tasting event somewhere around here. I wouldn't even know about the wine tasting if I hadn't gone out with a chick that was into it. "Oooh, look," she would say. "There's a wine tasting this weekend! Let's go to the wine tasting and taste some wine!!" I chopped her into pieces with an ax and buried her in a shallow grave in my back yard. Actually, that's not true. I buried her in Ms. Babble's back yard. Mine is already full.

I had almost forgotten about the wine tasting until the other day at work. We were standing around the water heater talking about our weekend plans, and this bitch whom I hate decided to chime in: "Is anybody going to the wine tasting?? There's a wine tasting this Saturday! I'm going to taste some wine!!" She is now buried in Sassy Blondie's backyard. (I really need to work on my anger.)

I'm not sure why the wine tasting makes me so hostile. I've never been to one, but somehow I picture it as being a bunch of phony-ass, middle-aged skanks trying to act all sophisticated by sipping imported chardonnay and pretending they know something about it: "Ooh, try this one, Gladys! You can really taste the grapes!" Filthy whore. You wouldn't know a Merlot from a glass of Welch's. These are the same bitches who 20 years ago in college guzzled cheap beer in smoky bars, puked it up in back alleys, and pissed their pants on the way home. Now they're wrinkled old closet wino divorcees whose twats are infested with crabs. Fuck, I bet any one of them could outfart me any day of the week.

This has Oprah's handwriting all over it. Damn that fugly bitch and her brainwashed minions! Stupid housewife soccer mom yentas got nothing better to do than sit in front of the tube all day and celebrate their ovaries. Their own lives are meaningless, so they try to elevate themselves by posing as high-class broads. Well GUESS WHAT, BITCH. Reading Maya Angelou and guzzling cheap wine out of a Dixie cup does NOT make you classy! Damn you all, I say! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! (Sorry, it's that anger thing again.)

Tell you what, ladies. I got something for you to taste right here. Hell, you can even gargle with it. It's creamy, filled with protein, and has an excellent bouquet. "Oooh, try this one, Marge! It's so tangy and smoooooth!"


Just remember, it doesn't count unless you swallow.

Drunken Post

I don't noramally rigte posts when i'm drunk ubt its about time for a new post so here I am. I try to updsdate my blog at least twice a week but sometims its hard cuss of my job and shit. God i hate my job i wish i coiuld just blog all fucking day long and tell those fuckers to kissoff. I staretgd the is blog like two.5 yuears ago so i could get some poon but so far i haven't gotten shit form you poelple. that babble chik is kinda cute but all she dos is have babies with some other guy. Then theres revee who got me unbanned form medialien forum by having intercrourse with the moderator. She's really sweat nad shit but shes datting a candy bar. sissy bloned sounds hot and her avatar looks lick maralyn manson, did you no she was discovered in a drug store having amilkshake/ drug stores don't have milkshakes anymore maybe if they did more poelple would be discoverd. PEPO;LEE PPEPLE PEOPLE fuck tahts a hard workd to spell when your drunk.

Time for a new paragraphy. So i went down town to thsi bar hopping to score some poon, their wawas a cute watress wtih a black halter top thing i tried to show her my weewee but she sparyed me with mace damn btcih. The bartender made me a rum and coke and i drank it but didnt even taste lany alcohol which is wiered cause i usualy taste that shit real easy. I thought he jsut gaeve me a awated down cola so i asked for another and then another. bY the tird i was feeling real good so i decided to get he fuck outta there and gol home.

ON my a way to hte car i had to piss like a moituehrfucker so i foudn a cobblsstone alley and pissed in it I hoep they don't mnind. I know you'res nots uppoped to drink drukn but i had to get home and paint my dormers befrore the homos associatastion gets mad at me agian. I past dead bird on the sidewalk i swear to you it smeelleed just like cherry koolaid, isn't that cdrazy? Or amybe koolaid smeels like dead birds, i don't know for sure. When i amd runk, I like to eat Taco bell food and i dont knwo why that is but i think everybody eats taco bell when they're durnk. So i went there next and ordered something and ate it all up.

Then i realised it was tood ark to paint my dormers plus i couldt' find my latter so i decided ot take a fuckign shower. I cleaned my bathroom today which if cuking hate to do mbut it needed it cause mold was growing on the tile groute. i filled an empty spary bototle with bleach and water to spray on the mold but fuck if the spray bottle didnt want otw ork so i just pourd the fucking bealch driectly on the mold and guess waht it's gone! i'm like martha fucking steward, bitches. Thend i had to piss real bad again so i got aoiutta the shower and piseed all over the fucking gfloor that i jsut cleaned tdoay, usually i hafe pretty good aim but notu when im' drunk. sonfoabtich i hate toilets.

YOuw ever wahtch that ER show? ica n't stand it except for thaot hot blond chidkc waht ever her name is. Otherwsiek its sucks as far as im' concerned. When in was driving home tonight i was swerving all over the place but damn if i didn't know all the words to hotel california and vcitim of love by the eagles. I swear i know all their lyricds so good i could sing them if i was dead. Thye has a enww album comign out next month you should check it ouit lots of news ongs. i already heard one new song thats actually an old song by jd souther they used todo in concernt not many poeleple know that but i do bc i'm a big fan. ms. babble hates the eagles but shes a bichtc so whoo cares.


goodamit im' hunry agian lucky i have some fuckign doritos in my caibnet. honestly I could eat doritos the rest of my life and neve get tiredk of them. They havfe lots of flaovors now but noacho will alwas be my favorite i think. Try the smokin cheddar sometime tho it really is smoking but not really. anybody nkow owhere i can get some quality poon i woiuld apprefdiate it. Fuck its cold outsdie tonigt i guess fall is here. I never licked fall when iwa s in school becase fall meants chool was starting agin and i fuciking hated school. Now i ckinda like fall becdause the weather is coolrer and i have to work anyaway so wahts the fucking dirfference.